Sick again

March 29th, 2007

Skunk Anansie – Lately

Would the person with the poppet* please give me a break? The flu sucks :( Sitting idle at home sucks even more. Oh well, at least I get to ride a sinutab high, go me.

Geoff’s farewell dinner is tonight at Murphy’s Law. Sometimes I can’t help but feel like Shaun of the Dead and Murphs is The Winchester, alas, Geoff has specified “Partners Included” which means I’ll be sitting surrounded by happy couples bugging me about my love life, armed only with all the bachelor charm I can muster from a drowsy sinutab fuelled state (read: the incoherence of a drunk Bill Cosby “razzle wozzle.”) Sounds like my school ball all over again, except I had the charm of a drowsy vodka fuelled state that night, plus a wine tuxedo.

* voodoo doll

The Project: Summary

March 28th, 2007

The Tragically Hip – Bobcaygeon

And so, a brief recap of what went down during The Project (this will be updated as I remember stuff)

Thursday
* Arrived and relaxed with a couple of beers. Satisfied at my efforts in the interview earlier in the day.
* Began moving stuff, realised quickly that my parents are hoarders to a level I wasn’t expecting.
* After moving a bunch of stuff, Tamati and I cracked into stripping wallpaper until about 11pm
* Slept using my alpine sleeping bag (rated for -30c) as a mat/pillow and a duvet as a blanket.

Friday
* Woke up sweaty and with a crick in my neck. Realise that I miss roughing it and vow to go tramping again this year. I might aim for a mountain range that I havent yet perused, maybe somewhere in the South Island. Maybe somewhere deep south near Alexandra so I can catch up with Shag and Betsy
* Continued moving stuff. The big china display cabinet in the kitchen was 1cm too high to fit through the french doors to the lounge. This made me mad. Tamati and I wasted too much time emptying that bastard out, moving it into the lounge and then restocking it. Curse my hoarder parents.
* While doing so, discovered old photo albums. Had a laugh at what a tard I was when I was younger.
* The inner pyromaniac took over, and while burning stripped wallpaper in the incinerator, I decided to get rid of any other rubbish that was burnable leading to a four hour burnathon. I’m still trying to get the smell of smoke out of my skin.
* Tamati and Riki spent a lot of time playing with cars and not helping
* The skip bin finally arrives, only 5 hours after we were told it would. We start throwing out crap. I try not to be too brutal on my parents hoarded stuff
* Went to the family farm for dinner with Aunty. We were supposed to be there about 5, Riki and Tamati mucking about had us there at quarter to seven. Fortunately for their skulls the crackling was still warm
* Dropped off two of the dogs while we were there. Bliss for two days.

Saturday
* Benny and Jim arrived on island time. No biggy though, it’s not like they’re charging me full price, so they can do whatever they want. Straight away they cracked into the lino and asbestos in the kitchen.
* Matt decrees that the walls are no good and need to be skimmed. Calls in Richie to skim the walls
* Richie arrives, jokes at the challenge and cracks into it with Matt and Luke
* They start calling me Ty. I don’t immediately figure it out and think they’re making some vague reference to Colonel Tigh from Battlestar Galactica.
* The rest of us keep stripping wallpaper and lino. We make our various discoveries
* Tamati has a brief fling with asbestos removal. Declares that “they don’t pay Jim enough
* Went and picked up a large bag of meat from my old butcher boss
* Put on a choice BBQ for the boys. I dont remember marinated pork strips being so fatty, now I feel guilty after eating them. They are hereby ruined forever for me :(
* Alcohol was consumed and the plastering became a bit more erratic as the night went on.
* Matt kept me up till 3am with his drunken shenanigans – fair enough, he’s doing a lot of work for free. I just wanted some shut-eye to recharge for the next day.
* It is revealed to me at about 2am that Matt had texted Dad a picture of the goings on with the belief that Dad was in on this. Dad was not in on this. Mum, however, was the one who received the text *sigh*

Sunday
* Wake up early, have breakfast and discover that drunken plastering is not good – it’s all over the place.
* On a smoko break, saw the video clip for Concord Dawn’s Broken Eyes on AltTV. The video tries its hardest to outshine the track, and the track is uber-awesome. I’m seriously considering upgrading my stereo just so that I can crank this track even louder. I would go so far as to rate it better than some of their other great tracks like Morning Light, Vengeance and Horror Show.
* While on all fours dealing with plaster that had got all over the skirting, realised why housewives moaned about kneepads for decades – carpet + knees = not fun.
* Benny and Jim declare that the asbestos is putting up a fight, they’re dehydrated and exhausted and that they only reckon they’ll get the kitchen done. Fair enough.
* Benny and Jim finish the kitchen floor
* Jim and I go hard on the walls in the front bedroom. Jim on an orbital sander, me on a pole sander. We hotbox that room with plaster powder. Even through a respirator it gets into my nostrils, mixes with the boogers and makes what can only be described as “scone mix”. It also gets into my eyes, mixes with the moisture and makes scone mix there too.
* Throughout the day everyone continues calling me Ty, and joking about the can of worms I’ve opened up. Whenever they mention a can of worms, I immediately think “this isn’t a shit-storm, it’s a shitticane
* Slept under the stars. Nice, clear night. A bit too late in the season for it though, thank jebus for the alpine sleeping bag. Morning dew sucks.

Monday
* Wake up early, still picking scones out of my nose. Damn plaster powder.
* Realise that the hard work that Jim and I had put in the previous day had only about half done the room
* Go around the hallway and back bedroom and anal retentively deal to other plaster problems
* Finally get stuck into the big job in the front bedroom
* Matt and Luke arrive, start finishing off the walls and helping out with the front bedroom
* The walls are finally plastered, sanded, sealed and ready for painting. Matt, Luke and Richie have performed a miracle
* Went for a run around Kennedy Park, which is maybe a half kilometre run. I was bored by it (it used to be my warm up before a 3k run around the block) and considered running through the neighbouring paddock and concerning the cows within, as well as checking out the new subdivision going up nearby. Had beer instead. Should have brought my MTB down and had a crack on the new jumps. I could totally get like three feet off those, do you mind if I have a go real quick?

Tuesday
* Wake up uncomfortably. I hate sleeping on leather couches. Curse at Duke for biffing all over the lounge, forcing me into this predicament. Fucking dogs.
* No apetite for breakfast (no surprise). Continue throwing stuff out and start cleaning up around the house. Note that plaster powder sucks because it gets everywhere
* Start scrubbing the hallway floor to deal with the copious amounts of plaster that has been trodden into it. Get about 1 metre before I had a mop blowout. Have to do the rest on hands and knees
* Matt and Luke show up early, Frodo is absent. They tuck right into finishing the walls and the final coats of paint
* Rolled up the carpets in the bedrooms and threw them out. This saved us a lot of cleaning work, and the underlay acted as disposable drop cloths for the painting
* Finish scrubbing the hallway floor
* Richie showed up to help out with the last push of painting
* Wasted time getting paint remixed because the fool at the paint shop mixed our second bucket incorrectly

The Project: The aftermath

March 28th, 2007

0288. Korn – [Billboard Top 25 Mainstream Ro #05] Twisted Transistor [2:58]

It’s the day after. I had about 4 hours sleep last night after staying up till the early hours to have duty-free etc dropped off. Because my parents already knew about the work, I gave them a small debriefing.

Even though I’m tired, broke, I can feel a cold coming on and my body has become unfamiliar with manual labour, I’m in high spirits. I think I might even attend the Quiz Night tonight at Murphy’s Law, after an extended hiatus.

The company I interviewed with seem to have been impressed with my demeanour and my CV – I’ve been offered the position! :)

The Project: And it’s done

March 27th, 2007

David Gray – The Other Side

It’s over. Over schedule, over budget, but done.

The paint is still drying and I’ve gone around and redone all the light switches and power jacks (I only got zapped twice!) We moved most everything back to their general locale – I would have liked to have had time to get some sort of layout going but I’ve been working on this job since Thursday and I’m exhausted. I’ll go back this weekend and help my parents move things around. Maybe. Maybe I’ll sleep instead, maybe I’ll chug down this last bottle of whiskey before Detox Day… we’ll see.

This morning I woke up to find that Duke had been biffing all night, all over the kitchen floor. He’d also taken a dump – not on the newspaper that I’d *just in case* set down for him to take a dump on, oh no – just to the side of it. Apparently humans are the masters of canines – we’re the ones picking up their excrement! Throughout this whole time, the most frustrating thing for me has been the dogs – having to constantly yell at them to get lost, having to put up with their disobedience because they’re spoilt, and having to waste time toileting them – especially the special needs blind/deaf old pug, Pepper. I wasted more time on those dogs than I did on smoko breaks, and the two days that my Aunty dogsat them was bliss for me. So screw dogs, they suck as pets.

My cat in comparison self cleans, self toilets, stays out of the way, can figure out when it’s appropriate to hang out with me and only gives the occasional meow to remind me that it’s food time. Also, he once beat up a pit bull, no lie. So my cat rules. In saying that though, when I get a house with a back yard, I’m getting a Border Collie. Border Collies rule. Discussion end.

So after cleaning up that mess, I figured I may as well clean elsewhere. There is plaster powder everywhere, honestly.. that stuff gets EVERYWHERE. So I cleaned the toilet, the bathroom, I gave a few cursory sweeps around the lounge, kitchen and laundry, and then I started scrubbing the plaster that had been trodden into the hallway floor. Ladies, it’s not just that I’m domesticated, it’s also that when you clean a butcher shop for several years to a level that gets you high praise from a MAF inspector nazi (read: “better than a lot of supermarket butcheries I’ve seen, it’s practically spotless”), then you can clean anything.

Matt and Luke showed up while I was scrubbing, it turned out their job today got rained out so they came up to The LV early and immediately started complaining about the heat. Maybe I’d adjusted or something because I thought it was just nice, it wasnt until later that I found out it was 26c – not bad! They got stuck in and finished prepping the walls, then decided to go and get the top coat paint tinted. Spanish White was the order of the day. Initially I thought a brown tint would be naff, but after seeing it in action I immediately liked it – it blends well with the wood skirting, door frames and floors as well as the white sills and doors. And even though Mum and myself had discussed yellow in one room and a greeny colour in the other room, I got the feeling that Spanish White catered for both quite well. On top of that, it has a coffee-esque aspect to it that I think Dad might find pleasing.

We went and got a second 10L of it but disaster struck again! The paint shop guy mixed based on the wrong reference, so we had to go back and get it remixed *sigh* More time killed that could have been used on useful things. Richie arrived and got stuck in, I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank him. He and Mum have butted heads a lot over the years, so for him to offer his time and expertise on this means a lot. I’d finished cleaning up around the place, I’d done a couple loads of laundry and restacked the dishwasher, and so I got out of the way of the painters and had a break. I started reading a book, I don’t know what it was, but I thought the author was a pompous and arrogant fool, he’s so opinionated he should get himself a blog – http://www.firstnamelastname.com which is something only narcissistic losers do.

Riki arrived home after work and we got stuck in and ripped up the underlay in the back bedroom. Riki focused on the staples and I dealt with the tackboards and nails. A quick sweep and vacuum and his room was ready to be occupied with his stuff, and so we started moving his bed and dresser in while the hallway and front room got a chance to dry. Then we dealt with the underlay, staples, tackboards and nails in the front room. Me and Riki, we’ve got that down to an art.

With sunlight disappearing fast, the final push was on – we moved as much stuff as we could from Mum and Dad’s room to wherever it needed to go, we moved as much stuff back from the garage and sleepout as we could, but we were all very weary and eventually just placed things in whichever room they needed to be in for later sorting.

So meh, Mum and Dad won’t be arriving home to a fully functioning palace, this isn’t Extreme Makeover Home Edition, and even though it was my nickname the whole time – I am not Ty. But they’ll be arriving home to something at least – no asbestos in the Kitchen, no shoddy carpet, no crappy wallpaper, no holes in the bedroom walls, no crappy cupboards in the laundry… Just a labour of love, or something like that.

My hands are nicked, cut, knuckle skinned, cuticle ruined, scuffed and rough. My face is making like Foo Fighters and breaking out, my hair is waxy and messy, and my torso muscles scream for mercy at the simplest tasks like reaching for a tumbler. I also can’t seem to get the smell of timber smoke out of my pores. But you know what? It sure beats sitting in an office dealing with locked accounts. Fuckin A.

The Project: Revealed

March 26th, 2007

Pearl Jam – Better Man

Well, the cat is out of the bag. My parents know what I successfully hid from them for the last few months – The Project is a belated 50th birthday present from myself and my brothers to kickstart renovations on their house. The surprise is over before it was supposed to be delivered, oh well, that means I can start emptying my head out a bit.

Let’s back it up a bit. We grew up in a two bedroom home in Rimu St. When myself and my older brother were getting a little too old to be couped up in a bunk room, my parents sold up and got their current house – a three bedroom number with a sleepout, on a quarter acre section in a nice neighbourhood – the kiwi dream. They got this house with the intention of renovating it, though funding the lifestyles and apetites of four boys would get in the way of that. That was some 12 years ago now…

Now, to be fair – I got an afterschool job cleaning a butcher shop when I was 13, I got paid handsomely by 13 year old standards – $10/hr, and so I was the least financial burden for my parents as I was able to budget my own stuff. Since then I’ve been the most independant one.

So, I decided back in November before my parents both turned 50 in December that I’d be doing something for their renovations, now that three of their four sons had moved out. Slowly but surely, I drew my plans, and had to wait for a time to strike.

My mum works hard, extremely hard, and like me her holidays are far and few between, so when she does get a break she likes to do it properly. Where I’m happy to just get the hell out of Wellington for a weekend, her and dad will go to Fiji for a week. When they told me that they were going to head to Aussie for almost two weeks, I started to assemble my crew.

My older brother is a painter – he brought on board a couple of mates – Luke and Richie. So they were tasked with skimming, preparing and painting the walls.
Jim The Eagle removes asbestos for a job, and Benny used to remove asbestos with Jim. They were tasked with removing the asbestos-backed lino in the kitchen and laundry. If they had the time they could have a go with the lino in the toilet and bathroom.
Then there was myself and my younger brothers Tamati and Riki – we were tasked with doing odd jobs like stripping wallpaper, moving stuff around etc

I have to admit, my initial plans were a bit grandoise, and I believe that had we not been distracted by the head cylinder having a tantrum, we probably could have got a bit more done than we did, but still, what we have done is phenominal to say the least.

I’ll follow up with more information and photos over the coming days. I still have a few tidy up jobs to do.

The Project: A discovery

March 25th, 2007

When stripping wallpaper today in the front bedroom, we found this note on the wall:

timepanel.jpg
It’s hard to make out, but it says

Inside this panel lies a
package Archives from 1976

Well, we couldnt turn up the chance to see what was within. After a non-existent game of rock paper scissors, Benny put his fist through the wall and we tore away like goonies at the gib panel.

timepackage.jpg

Contained within was a baggie containing the following:
* A copy of the Evening Post, Dated Friday August 27, 1976
* A copy of The Chronicle (Levin’s local rag), dated Thursday, August 26, 1976
* Two labelled photos of young girls in what appear to be Waiopehu College uniforms
* A note saying the following:

< address removed >
Levin
27th Aug 1976.

To the Person Unknown
who discovers this package,

We, the Donoghue family have, from interest in the future, inserted this at the time of a small repair.

This house was built in 1960, and we have been the sole occupiers until this time. Apart from our first daughter, all our children have lived here from birth.

Heather, now 17, Kathryn, now 14-11/12, Shirley and Susan, 13.

Signed,
Carrol J and Colin J Donoghue

We thought that was very cool. And we know now that the wallpapering was done sometime 1976 onwards. But that’s not all that we found today, while stripping the asbestos backed lino out of the kitchen, the lads happened across a note written on the wooden floor stating that the lino was laid in March 1980 at a cost of $19.95 a metre. Apparently asbestos was outlawed in NZ in 1980 but used through to about 1984. The more you know.

We’ve learned a lot today

What the hell just happened?

March 22nd, 2007

Today started off on a real downer for me, but this afternoon couldnt have kicked more arse.

I had a short black to sooth the nerves and get my mind off the morning’s events. Then went up to Newlands for my interview. I arrived half an hour early and sat in the shade while the dread started to set in. Not the kind of dread you have when you have a run-in with gravity, or the kind of dread you have when you realise something big is about to fall on you, no… maybe the kind of dread you get when someone suggests putting toothpaste on a haemorrhoid – it sounds terrible but you know there’s an opportunity there somewhere. Somewhere *waves fist*

It turned out that it was to be the most relaxed interview I’ve had in my life, the guys were great, the company culture appears to be fantastic – almost google like, and I’m feeling damn positive about it. I think I left quite a good impression and I really hope they seriously consider my application. My current employer has alluded to a counter-offer, it’ll have to be substantial

Ok, now I’m offline for real

/update: charades you are! I’m at the site of The Project ™ and I’ve found a laptop, hacked the admin account and now the gibson is mine! This 256k DSL connection is sheer torture though. Internet addiction – pah! I can give up any time :)

Offline

March 21st, 2007

The Project ™ is now in full swing. I will have limited internet and mobile availability until Monday night / Tuesday morning.

Updates then…

Uninteresting

March 21st, 2007

0780. Ray Charles – [Ray Charles #05] Losing Hand [3:11]

Rode in this morning. Even though I got stuck behind the biggest guy I’ve ever seen on a bike – I mean, good on him for getting out there, but seriously, he took up so much of the 2m wide shoulder that I had to go into a highway lane to pass him. I managed to do a 35 minute run anyway, so not too bad. Tijs had his gameface on when we crossed paths on the Ngauranga straight so I didnt yell at him.

Well, my boss formally offered me the career advancement opportunity I’ve been screaming out for for months now. The day before an interview. What to say, what to say… How about more money?

Costs are starting to come in for The Project ™, after the water damage at my parents place and with my flatmate not coughing up on time, I’m not sure I’ll be able to completely bankroll it. We’ll see tomorrow. *sigh*

Petone Recreational Ground

March 20th, 2007

… is according to my cycle computer, 1km exactly around the outside. (View Map)

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